6 months in a blog post

I officially graduated Medicine last May
Alhamdulillah :)


Left Ireland as soon as I graduated
my heart sank, tears tank exploded


I miss Ireland


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I thought living in Malaysia wouldn't be this hard
There are way more to be sacrificed

I mean when I was in Ireland,
I only have to think about myself
if I was tired or feeling down or whatever that was

but here, as the eldest, I couldn't put my family aside in every decision I made
I have to be with them, supporting them, especially when they need me, the so-called the only doctor in the family

to cut it short
I can't give commitment towards usrah, DnT

So
I gave up
eventually :(


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Since I am loaded with time at the moment
It makes me wonder if I'd took different paths beforehand

I might have more friends
I might have good memories of UKE
I might not be the same

I might still trying to commit

I might not be the same



But I have no chance to turn back time
and yet if I have the chance,  I still could not figure out which path should I take


So I think this has to be my midlife crisis

Welcoming myself to adulthood

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I have witnessed how blessed Arwah Dr Atik's life
I never knew him personally, even never met him in person

I only came to heard his name when he was sick
He was in comma due to brain hge 2nd to ruptured AVM

Everyone went to Ipoh just to support him and his family
especially those knowing him since in UK (He studied medicine there)

He was pronounced death a few days after the surgery

and after that
people came from every part of Malaysia to visit his family
Everyone prayed for him
and so many people be his witness of how much he has contributed for ummah


If I am to die now

I think I will be nothing but burden to those alive
I have no one, except my family, to pray for me


Up until today
I still could not stop thinking how my death day would look like



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I really hope I could be a good servant of Allah




'abid
201117
Alor Lintang