Sunday, January 8, 2017

nikmat rasa

I always wrote about the downside of my life in here
it's not because there's nothing happy to be shared
but most of the my happy times, I got to spent times with people
that I always forgot to share

as I count
there's not much time left for me
to live here, in Ireland, in Cork to be specific

I rant a lot about living here

but as I get myself to reflect on it

many things happened here

get to know many great awesome people here
was first diagnosed sick here
loving medicine here
feeling lonely, here as well

haha like a roller coster yes?

I gave up with DnT once
but Allah never get tired of choosing me
despite all my alasan errday haha

So, since a lot of things happened here
it turned me into someone that's very secretive

I kept everything to myselff
all people can see is the happy me

I did not express my gratitude towards the people who keep supporting me
even though deep inside I am too blessed to have them in my life

so yesterday I decided to confess to my usrahmates
haha sebab penat dah simpan sensorang
and I think I will regret one day if I don't

I told them how much I appreciate their presence
I apologize for my wrong doings
I keep avoiding from being their good friend
I backed off when I started to be close with them

as expected, you were hurt
but I told them, I feel it too

So here I am
ready to be better, again

once gain, let me try

and they accept me, again

I love you girls to the moon and back


dearest partener in crime,
thank you
for understanding
and not giving up with me
we can do this, ok?
(walaupun sy selalu macam fikir negative macam get lost ke whatevr, I still hope both of us jadi qawiyy very soon hehe)

dearest adiks galway,
I am more than happy to be your 'kakak'
sorry for not treating you as adik before
and keep avoiding your call

dearest ukhti qawiyy,
sorry selalu geram dengan awak

so, 4 months to go
let's revise!

wait for me,

might not return as dayah Z, but a new me won't get you dissapointed I hope hehe

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